Mirroring

Within the area of self psychology, being mirrored refers “to all the transactions characterising the mother–child relationship, including not only the reflections of grandiosity, but also constancy, nurturance, a general empathy and respect”. KOHUT

Mirroring is a technique used extensively by salespeople. It is the behaviour wherein a person imitates the other’s way of talking, communication, gestures, attitude and various other facets of personality. It is observed that couples in order to have better rapport with each other mirror each other’s behaviour.

Mirroring is done to a larger extent in conversations. The listeners will typically smile or show anger as the speaker does. If one person talks about politics, the other does the same to show one’s knowledge and to come at same wave length with the other. Since people usually accept their mirror image with ease, mirroring the person with whom one is speaking generally makes them feel more comfortable and is considered encouraging behaviour.

Where one person’s movement is matched with another type of action, sound, or different movement is termed as cross mirroring. Direct mirroring occurs where a person is facing right on at another. It is used by couples, people sharing affinity, high familiarity or interest in one another. Postural mirror-image mirroring occurs where one person’s left side “matches” the other person’s right side which shows  strong understanding, thereby  increasing one’s own closeness and understanding with someone can also smooth conversations and relations. In congruency can be mirrored for better understanding.  If someone says “Wow” but looks or sounds low, a mirroring reply would be to incongruently say “Wow” with a similar down attitude like them.

The parents’ mirroring responses influences and affects the development of self-esteem and self-assertive ambitions. The child looks forward to a parent who can help the child in developing his sense of worth, creating an internal self-respect.

Mirroring body language is an important skill to understand use when one wants to form rapport with somebody. It is also termed as body mirroring. Mirroring body language can be used whenever you want to create trust with somebody. The other person experiences the individual as being the same like them. This kind of behaviour happens at the unconscious level. “Mirror neurons” are located in the part of the brain called Broccas area. These mirror neurons form part of the brain that copies the actions of others.

If we observe a good sales person involved in sales, we can observe that they cop the body language of the potential customer. In this way they are able to manipulate great sales.

While, there could be some positive effects, there is a great danger that it can be overused to such an extent that it appears foolish and insulting. Also, as with the sales trick of repeating the other person’s name, being on the receiving end of this communication style can have negative effects too. If we have doubts about ability to do so, it is surely better to avoid trying it.

An individual must make his own choice. If they feel that one can mirror someone, without their notice and subtly, then b all means one should indulge in it and gauge its effectiveness for the relation. If we have doubts about ability to do so, it is surely better to avoid trying it.